Filed under Human Nature, Islamic Character by Wael on January 8, 2012 at 10:43 am
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By Wael Abdelgawad | IslamicSunrays.com
We get what we give. This is one of the laws of the dunya (this earthly life) and al-ghayb (the unseen) as well. When we give money to the poor and oppressed, God rewards us with more than we can imagine. When we share truth, greater truths are revealed to us. When we teach, we learn. When we show mercy, our Creator has mercy on us. When we smile, people smile back.
The same is true for love. When we give love, love comes into our lives.
Some people think, “I will open up my love when I meet someone who loves me truly.” Sorry, it doesn’t work that way. It’s only when we open up the gates and let our love flow, that loves comes rushing in.
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Filed under Allah, Follow Your Dreams by Wael on November 5, 2011 at 1:07 pm
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By Wael Abdelgawad | IslamicSunrays.com
I believe in Allah because He believes in me… and He believes in you too. Believe in His plan for you, have faith in Him, trust His guidance to you, because He has faith in you, and trusts you.
Some people might challenge this assertion that Allah believes in us and trusts us. To me, that’s surprising. Allah created nothing in vain. Everything He does has a purpose. His creation of humanity was done with intent.
Why were we created? Many Muslims will automatically respond, “To worship Allah.” That’s true, but why does Allah want to be worshiped? Furthermore, why did He create everything else – the stars, planets, forests, seas, mountains, animals?…
Without presuming to know Allah’s intentions, and returning to the realm of the human for a moment, I will make a simple observation. As a writer, one of the reasons I write is because the act of putting my thoughts and feelings on paper satisfies something deep within me. I’ve been writing creatively since I was a child, and to me it’s not a hobby but a calling. I’m a writer, therefore I write; and I am a writer because I write.
The same is true for a painter or any other artist. I imagine if you asked a painter why he paints, you might get many different answers:
- “It makes me happy”
- “It’s my passion.”
- “To express my ideas.”
- “To make money.”
- “I don’t know, I just do.”
The bottom line is that it’s the painter’s nature to paint; it’s her calling, her function. She is a painter, therefore she paints; or she paints, therefore she is a painter. Same difference.
Allah is Al-Khaaliq, The Creator. That is one of His names, one of His attributes. He expresses this attribute by creating. You are a part of that expression, and so am I. So is a blue whale, Mount Kilimanjaro, the Grand Canyon, a dolphin, a mouse and an amoebum. Everything that Allah created is amazing in its function and awesomely complex in its design. Everything that He created is beautiful and purposeful. Including you and me.
To create is an act of love. It is an act of faith. The Creator loves you and believes in you. Believe in Him, believe in yourself, believe in humanity, and believe in the unique path that Allah has chosen for you.
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Filed under Human Nature, Love by Wael on October 21, 2011 at 12:28 pm
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By Wael Abdelgawad | IslamicSunrays.com
When seeking a marriage partner, remember, a husband or wife is not just some pretty face that you get to admire or possess, or show off to your friends. This person is not a checkbook, a status symbol, a servant, or a household maid. This is not someone that you’ll see for a few minutes each day after work, and take to dinner parties.
You could marry someone only for looks or status then find yourself miserable, harped on, arguing every day, lonely within your marriage, or abused. All you rich and attractive people don’t take offense – you might be perfectly lovely and sweet – I’m just saying that appearance, wealth and lineage are no guarantee of happiness, and if you focus on those factors to the exclusion of the soul, then you will likely find yourself mismatched, brokenhearted and forlorn.
A spouse is someone you abide with for the rest of your life, even when you are wrinkled and bent. Someone to hold you when you’re sad, to support you when you’re tired, to cool your forehead when you’re sick, to share in your joys, tell jokes and play frisbee with; someone to pray with in the still morning hours, and struggle with to achieve Paradise.
This is someone to be a witness to your life, to know you intimately and recognize your worth as a human being (not that we need someone else to affirm our value – but it’s always nice to be recognized and seen). Someone to love you unceasingly, like a great river, even when you disagree. Someone to see your faults, and keep on loving you.
Make sure your priorities are in order. Look past the surface. Connect with the person’s soul. Find someone who will make you smile, and with whom you will be happy to share this strange journey we call life.
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Filed under Forgiveness, Human Nature by Wael on October 12, 2011 at 12:43 pm
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By Wael Abdelgawad | IslamicSunrays.com
We can get so caught up in trying to fix other people’s problems, that we forget to fix ourselves. We can spend all our time helping family members, running around, “sacrificing”, while our own souls are weary, discouraged and approaching despair. We can champion important causes, or do vital work in our jobs, while we cover up or ignore wounds from our past, until we cannot even look at ourselves with respect or love.
I suppose we all have our coping mechanisms. For me, it’s martial arts. When I’m troubled or unhappy, I tend to immerse myself in my martial arts practice. It occupies my mind, allows me to forget my problems, and wears out my body so I can sleep.
Others may plunge themselves into their work, or distract themselves with books, music or television, or busy themselves with other people’s problems. But you can only keep this up for so long. If you don’t face what’s going on internally, the darkness will eventually spread and blot everything else out.
We have to come to terms with ourselves, or happiness will elude us forever.
How can we love and cherish others if we do not love ourselves? How can we extend ourselves to create something good in the world, if what we have inside is not sound and peaceful? How can we raise happy children if we are not happy? Children are very perceptive; if you are troubled and hurt inside, they will pick up on that, and it will affect them. If you really want to love your children properly, you need to make peace with your own soul.
Sometimes there are so many distractions in our lives, so much external noise, that we can’t hear our own hearts anymore. We need to quiet our minds and get back in touch with our fitrah, that pure nature given to us by Allah. We need to ask Allah’s forgiveness, then forgive ourselves, so that we can get rid of the baggage of shame. Only then can we then forgive others, and let go of anger or resentment.
We must listen to our intuition, and hear our hearts speaking, and open ourselves to the clear light of Allah’s huda (guidance).
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Filed under Human Nature, Human Potential by Wael on September 27, 2011 at 11:24 am
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By Wael Abdelgawad | IslamicSunrays.com
One of Allah’s names is Al-Wadood, The Most Loving, and this is appropriate because a Creator must have love in order to create works of beauty and power. Allah created you out of love. He created you with intent. He created you to succeed, not to fail, and He gave you all the tools that you need to thrive. Open your eyes and see what a miracle you are, what a thing of beauty, what a gift to the world. I see that in every person I know. If I met you, I’m sure I would see the miracle and beauty in you too. Do you see it in yourself?
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Filed under Human Nature, Human Potential by Wael on September 22, 2011 at 10:44 pm
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Sunrise over the Great Smoky Mountains, USA
By Wael Abdelgawad | IslamicSunrays.com
Have you ever felt “thrown away”? Cast aside like trash that is no longer valued or wanted?
It’s not a good feeling, is it?
Sometimes we feel this way when we’ve been rejected by someone we love; or when we are relentlessly criticised by a spouse, parents, family or friends. We can also feel this way when it seems like we’re not living up to society’s expectations.
Feeling this way makes you doubt yourself, makes you wonder if you are a worthwhile human being, if you have anything meaningful to offer, if you are someone worthy of love and praise.
When you feel this way, you might begin to act this way. You stop valuing yourself, and you start behaving as if you are worthless, ugly, invisible, unredeemable. You do things that you know are bad for you, either because you no longer care, or you think no one else cares. Or maybe just to fulfill the negative labels that others have put on you.
I want to tell you something very important: Allah does not make “throw away” people. He does not create waste.
We humans do that. Increasingly in this modern society, we manufacture cheap items that are meant to be used once then thrown away. Disposable razors, diapers, soda bottles, packaging… hospital visitors are given disposable gowns and gloves… Our oceans are filling up with garbage. There is a floating plastic garbage patch in the Pacific that is the size of Texas. It is known as the Pacific Gyre and contains 3.5 million tons of trash.
We human beings do that. We create such waste.
Allah does not do that.
Look around at what Allah has created: the oceans, mountains, clouds and majestic trees; birds and animals from the eagle to the elephant; the stars, sun and moon; the four seasons, each with a special beauty; and a treasure-trove of amazing, healthy foods like olives, mangoes, almonds, oranges…
Allah says in the Quran, Surat Aal-Imran, 3:190-191:
“Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and the earth and the alternation of the night and the day are signs for those of understanding. Who remember Allah while standing or sitting or on their sides and give thought to the creation of the heavens and the earth, [saying], “Our Lord, You did not create this in vain; exalted are You [above such a thing]…”
Allah created nothing in vain. Nothing that He made is disposable or worthless. Every one of His creations is precious and has a profound purpose, from the smallest bacterium to the greatest nebula. Everything is beautiful. Including you.
Allah did not create you to be thrown away. You are not disposable. Whether or not you are ready to admit it, you have a profound purpose in this life. You are priceless, beautiful, unique, redeemable, and worthy of love. Because Allah made you that way.
We must begin valuing ourselves according to how Allah has valued us. Those people who would devalue us, they are not walking in our shoes, living our reality. They’re not responsible for our souls, and we are not responsible for theirs:
“No bearer of a burden can bear the burden of another.” (Quran 6:164; 17:15)
If others are not responsible for us, and cannot bear our burdens, then they have no right to value or devalue us. Allah has given us honor, therefore our honor is with Allah, not with the people. Allah has given us purpose, therefore our purpose is with Allah, not with the people.
Every person has a dignity and value that has been granted by Allah. It is inherent in our makeup and cannot be taken away by anyone. Every person is a gift. Every person is a miracle. Including you.
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Filed under Human Nature, Islamic Character by Wael on September 5, 2011 at 10:52 pm
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The most beautiful things in the world don't come in packages
By Wael Abdelgawad | Zawaj.com
(This piece was written for Zawaj.com, and I am reprinting it here):
Is his hair nicely styled? Is he the perfect height? Are his dimples so cute when he smiles?
Is her makeup just right? Does her body have the perfect curves? Do her feet arch perfectly in those killer high heels?
This is packaging, it’s irrelevant.
American, Pakistani, Arab, African, black, white, this is a veneer. These qualities are insignificant by any true, spiritual standard. When you’re feeling ill and are curled up in bed, it’s not an Arab or American who holds your hand and tells you that it will be okay, who takes your temperature and cools your forehead with a towel, who makes you chicken soup with lemon… it’s a human being, a husband or wife who loves you.
We must get beyond superficial and meaningless classifications like race and nationality. In one of the most powerful condemnations of tribalism that I have ever read, the Prophet Muhammad (sws) said, in a hadith narrated by At-Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud,
“There are people who boast of their dead ancestors; but they are more contemptible in the sight of Allah than the black beetle that rolls dung with its nose. Behold, Allah has removed from you the arrogance of the time of Jahiliyyah (Ignorance) with its boasting of ancestral glories. Man is but a God-fearing believer or a miserable sinner. All people are the children of Adam, and Adam was made from dust.”
And about the impulse to nationalism and racism in general, he said, “Leave it, it is rotten.” (Agreed upon).
Alright, how about this: That guy wanting to court you, is his Armani suit cut just right? Are his shoes sleek and stylish?
That woman who caught your eye, does her dress drape elegantly on her figure?
You know what? That Armani suit can’t stand on its own. It needs a hangar to stay upright. That elegant dress can’t raise your children right.
We must learn to look beyond appearances. I’m not saying that appearance is irrelevant, but how much of our attraction is based on true human beauty, and how much is based on distorted standards and poisonous imagery pumped into our brains by TV, movies, and advertising? In other words, to what degree have we been brainwashed?
The world of advertising teaches us to focus on the wrong things. Consultants are paid millions to design the perfect package for a box of cereal or an energy drink, just the right shape and bright color to catch your eye and entice you to open your wallet. Meanwhile, the product – likely as not – is actually bad for you, consisting of sugar, salt, chemicals and dyes. These advertisers are teaching us to make choices based on packaging and image.
What they are teaching us is entirely ruinous and wrong.
Human beings are not consumer products. We’re not disposable. When you marry someone you’re in it for the long haul. You’re with them when they wake up in the morning with crust in their eyes and hair pressed to one side of the their head; when they get laid off from work because the company is “downsizing”, and you don’t know how the bills will get paid next month; when they’re depressed, tired, sick; when they make mistakes, when they say and do the wrong things, when they lose their temper, when they’re afraid or insecure…
This is as serious as it gets. This is life, and a shiny but empty package won’t get you through it, won’t help on you the path, won’t hold you up when you’re weak, or make you laugh when you’re down. The package can’t do that. Remember that when you buy something, the package ends up in the trash. If you choose someone for the package only, you may be bitterly disappointed when the storm comes and no one is there to shelter you, or to hold.
These are lessons learned through heartache and disappointment.
Look deeper. Find a gentle and honest heart, a strong backbone, a striving spirit. Look to what the person does, how they live, how they treat people, how they relate to the Almighty. Look to that shimmering soul inside, and discern whether it’s a selfish and bitter soul, or loving and true. Look beyond the packaging to the core, and trust your God-given instincts, and you’ll find yourself a rare happiness, a precious partnership, or a true friend.
The most beautiful, powerful things in the world don’t come in disposable packages. Mountains, trees, ocean, sky, stars… their true attributes are bared to the world. They don’t need packages because they are stunning and profound in their essence.
As someone said, beautiful things are not always good, but good things are always beautiful.
By basing your life choices on matters of substance, you’ll avoid social and financial traps that ruin so many. You’ll build friendships as real and solid as mountains, with people you can trust with your reputation, your heart and your life. You’ll do work that matters, and leave a legacy that improves people’s lives in unforgettable ways.
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Filed under Hardship and Illness, Human Nature by Wael on September 4, 2011 at 10:14 pm
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Kulsoom Abdullah, 35, is an a electrical engineer and also a female weightlifter.
By Wael Abdelgawad | IslamicSunrays.com
Every part of you must be exercised in order to grow stronger. Those who memorize Quran, study for advanced degrees, or perform other difficult mental tasks know that it becomes easier with time. The brain responds by building neural connections that, essentially, make you smarter.
With the body it’s obvious, right? A weightlifter lifts 100 pounds one week, his muscles get stronger, and the next week he can lift 105. As long as he keeps challenging himself, his muscles continue growing, to the limits of his genetic capacity. If he quits working out, his muscles shrink.
As for the soul, it is exercised through hardship. There’s no getting around this. Our spiritual muscles are developed by confronting pain and loss.
Allah says,
“And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits…” - Quran, Al-Baqarah, 2:155-157
My friend Bilal Mustapha comments on this verse,
“God has to test us with lost of life, property, love ones, health, money, beauty, power, influence, prestige, ego, relationships, knowledge…etc. to prove that we are who we say we are or claim to be, and there’s no shortcut or easy way around it. True Believers have to be separated from the Fake Ones. With that said, LET’S GET READY TO RUMMMMMBLLLLLE!!! (in my Michael Buffer voice)”
(Yes, Bilal is much more interesting than I am).
This is why the Prophet Muhammad (sws) said, “When Allah desires good for someone, He tries him with hardships.” (Al-Bukhari)
A bodybuilder must lift huge weights in order to challenge himself. A believer is tested more severely than the average person because he’s already powerful. A lesser test would be no test at all. It’s got to hit hard, it’s got to be heavy.
Then why bother? Wouldn’t it be easier to be a weak, apathetic non-believer and not be afflicted with tests?
Let’s read the rest of the ayah quoted above:
“And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, who, when disaster strikes them, say, “Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return. Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided.” - Quran 2:155-157
Those tests bring blessings and mercy from Allah, in ways we see and don’t see. They help us lead lives of meaning, and if we are patient then the results accrue for us in Jannah. From the moment we die, we see the results of all the tests we suffered. We see light, and ease, and comfort. I know this because I have been told so in the Quran and by the Messenger of Allah (sws), and I believe it. It makes sense to me, and it’s confirmed by countless anecdotal near-death experiences from cultures all over the world.
Don’t be jealous when you see that those who commit evil on earth are living in luxury. The tyrants of the world who steal billions, or the capitalists who build wealth on the suffering of others, or any who gain coin through haram means; and even those whose work is halal but who hold their money back from the needy :- that wealth is an anvil around their necks. It is their test, and most of them are failing miserably.
Don’t fear hardship. When the time comes to exercise your spiritual muscles, stay firm in faith. This is how we grow into our potential, how we prove ourselves. In the words of Helen Keller, who was blind and deaf from childhood and yet became an author and women’s rights advocate, “We could never learn to be brave & patient, if there were only joys in the world.”
This is Allah’s manhaj, His way, His methodology of life. It makes perfect sense because it’s rooted in the way things really work. So let’s welcome the opportunity to use our spiritual muscles.
This is not all theoretical for me. The day I wrote this article, I was treated badly by someone close to me, I was stressed about the future, and I was berating myself for not being as good a father as I would like. Strangely enough it was also the day of the Eid picnic, and amid the crowd of Muslim families I found myself feeling very alone.
So I wrote this piece for all of you and as a reminder to myself, because I do know the solution: Pray, meditate, contemplate Allah’s love and care for you. Enjoy what you have. Appreciate the small things in life. Be brave. Dare to dream, and then make those dreams happen. Lift that weight, move that rock, and forge ahead with a straight back and clear sight.
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Filed under Dealing with Depression, Doing Good by Wael on July 18, 2011 at 9:42 pm
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Africa and Europe from space
By Wael Abdelgawad | IslamicSunrays.com
Life has been challenging lately. In July I’ve faced some financial setbacks, and also some personal setbacks that have hit me hard, and drained me emotionally to the point where sometimes I just sit in my padded computer chair and don’t feel like getting up. I feel like I hardly have the energy to get up and prepare some food to eat, let alone pray, work, go to class, care for my daughter…
And yet I do get up. I go out and teach a 2.5 hour martial arts class and I do it with vigor, because my students are looking to me for guidance and inspiration. I get up and do my volunteer job at the Muslim community center. I get up and take my daughter to the lake or the masjid, and have a tea party with her, and read her the latest chapter of “Fish Face”. I laugh with her and love her with everything I’ve got, because she needs me. I don’t have time for self-pity.
I get up and do my thing, because that’s what it is to be a man (or woman), to be a father (or mother), to be a Muslim, to be a friend, to be alive! You get up and do what you have to do. You pick your foot up and take a step, then lift the other one and take another step, and before you know it you are moving ahead, and time has passed and your problems have diminished and don’t hurt quite so much, or maybe you have overcome them entirely, because you are experiencing the joy of life. Your love for Allah, and your gratitude, and your attentiveness to the beauty and blessings around you, all wash the pain away like a river.
That’s what it is to be alive. SubhanAllah.
So, to all those reading this now, I send you light and love, and I know that no matter what physical or emotional aches you are experiencing, you will rise each morning with gratitude, you will take a step and move ahead, you will love and laugh, you will push self-pity to the side and live your lives with commitment, in the short time that we all have on this beautiful ball of brown and blue.
One last note: Eat healthy foods, drink water and – very important – get enough sleep. These are all critical to maintaining an emotional balance and moving forward in life with a positive attitude.
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Filed under Human Nature, Inner Peace by Wael on July 5, 2011 at 11:32 am
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The happiness of material wealth is a mirage.
By Wael Abdelgawad | IslamicSunrays.com
As infants, our first seeming victory is being able to grasp – a finger, a toy, or anything bright. Only later do we realize that the dunya (the material world) is constantly grasping at us, trying to get us to buy, eat, feel, possess, own. Forces of greed are trying to get us to pour our souls down the drain of disposable consumerism, and poison our planet in the process.
Believers realize at that point that the real struggle is to give up our love for material things, and let go. To take what we need, and enjoy the simple pleasures, and not let ourselves be corrupted by waste.
Doesn’t Allah say that the wasters are the brothers of the devils?
“And give the relative his right, and [also] the poor and the traveler, and do not spend wastefully. Indeed, the wasteful are brothers of the devils, and ever has Satan been to his Lord ungrateful.” (Quran, Al-Israa’ 17: 26-27)
Modern society, and Western society in particular, is based on waste. Everything is disposable, everything is plastic, everything is buried in landfills where it seeps into the drinking water, or dumped into the ocean where it poisons the marine ecosystem. Knowing this, how are we to regard modern society in view of Allah’s statment that the wasters are the brothers of the devils? And what is our role in this massive assault on planet earth?
Things are not always as they seem. Consumerism is a spiritual desert, and the happiness that we think will come from buying this, or owning that, is a mirage. Buying the latest flat screen TV or data phone will not make us happy. Owning a McMansion in the suburbs will not bring us inner peace. Having a pile of money in the bank will not bring us closer to Allah, or save our souls, or extend our lives one moment beyond what has been written, regardless of our insurance plans. In fact, all those things are balls and chains that bind ours soul and create stress and worry.
The Messenger of Allah (sws), is reported to have said, “That which is little yet sufficient is better than that which is much and diverts man from his goal as a result.”
What is the goal? It is the worship of Allah, working fee-sabeel-illah, and the ultimate goal of Jannah. In the Bible, Jesus (peace be upon him) asks, “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” If you own the most beautiful furniture, the most expensive clothing, and the coolest cars, yet you fail in your mission of achieving Jannah, then what have you achieved? You have ruined yourself.
Let go of these material illusions. We’re not infants anymore, trying to grab any pretty thing and put it in our mouths. We can think critically. The “reality” that is flashed in our eyes a thousand times a day by commercials, billboards, movies and TV is a lie. See things as they are. All that matters is Allah. Above all is Allah. Success lies in our relationship with Allah. Peace and happiness come from being in harmony with Allah’s teachings, which in turn brings us in harmony with all creation.
Buy less, own less, don’t use disposable products, don’t throw away things that can be repaired, re-sold or donated. Hand things down, pass them on. The best fun is free: playing sports or word games with your children, walking in the park, swimming at the beach or the public pool, enjoying tea with friends. Don’t worry about owning the latest gadget. Forget about brand names. The only brands we need are Muslim, Mu’min, Ummah, Deen. Keep your eyes open, think for yourself, and don’t be fooled by bright illusions.
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