“True religion shines from the face of the believer and impresses itself on others without words. It is subsequently followed by words that are uplifting and beneficial.” – Imam Zaid Shakir, Oakland California USA

“Do not become proud of your position. Do not become harsh toward those weaker than yourself. And always speak of Allah’s kindness to you.”

- Ibn Isaq, “The Life of Muhammad”

By Wael Abdelgawad for IslamicSunrays.com

Faith, love and kindness are not imaginary concepts, or cute ideas, or naive catchphrases. They are elemental forces with the power to alter human hearts, and to change the world. They are transformational emotions and behaviors that were bestowed upon us by Allah, who is Al-Rahman (The Most Merciful) and Al-Wadood (The Most Loving). They are stronger than hurricanes or typhoons, and they transcend the birth and death of individuals, and the rise and fall of nations. Don’t we still have love for the Messenger of Allah (pbuh), and for the Sahabah, all of whom lived many generations and nations ago?

Faith, love and kindness are the secret weapons that Allah has given us to conquer corruption, cynicism, hatred, racism, and evil, in ourselves and in the world.

These ideas are not childish or naive, as some might say. Was the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) naive? He suffered in the cause of his mission, but he persevered. His mission was rooted in faith and love of Allah, and expressed through kindness to all people. There are so many stories about him showing tremendous kindness to rude and even murderous people, and changing their hearts in the process. He succeeded in the face of frightening, some might say impossible odds. His success is a testament to the power of these noble emotions and behaviors.

That’s why I illustrated this piece with a photo of sun rays shining on a dark and snowy world. Because these powerful emotions and behaviors are not the stuff of sunny afternoons, cotton candy and daisies. They are like a guiding star that is only seen in the darkness. They come into their own and show their true power by confronting and overcoming hatred, bitterness, painful loss, war, poverty and despair.

I describe them as emotions and behaviors because faith that exists only in the heart is not true faith. Faith is proven by action. Faith is defined by the way you live your life. The same is true for love and kindness. Love is a verb, not a noun. It’s not an abstract feeling in your heart, but a matter of behavior, the way you treat people, the way you help, forgive, and show mercy to people.

Do you want to see something different in the world? Show it.

Do you want to see things moving in a better direction? Then get stepping and walk it, and I guarantee that others will follow, because they have seen the problems as well, and they are waiting for someone to lead the way.

Do you want to be a better Muslim, father, mother, son, daughter, sibling, or friend? Then be it. Now is the moment. The past is prologue leading to this moment.

Are you waiting for someone else to show love and kindness first? Are you waiting for someone else to be vulnerable or brave, to put himself out there, to take the first step, to show the way? There is no someone else. You are the someone else. You…  are…  someone.

Le’ts open ourselves to faith, love and kindness. Let’s change the way we move in the world, the way we behave with Allah, the way we treat people, the way we interact with every person. Let us become testaments to the power of these transformational behaviors, not through our words but through our actions. Let’s express a new sincerity from our hearts and walk through the world like believers. Let’s become people of Allah, people of Jannah, people of imaan, love and mercy.

Sunrays shining through the trees in the Westonbirt Arboretum, UK. Photo by Terry.

Wael Abdelgawad for IslamicSunrays.com

The Prophet Muhammad (salallahu alaihi wa sallam) said,

“Whoever relieves a believer of a hardship from the hardships of this world, then Allah will relieve him of a hardship from the hardships of the Day of Resurrection… Allah is helping the servant as long as the servant is helping his brother, ” [Hadith Tirmidhi /Muslim].

Do you need help? Help others, and Allah will help you.

Helping others doesn’t have to consist of anything grand. Even a smile is sadaqah. Removing a harmful thing from the road is sadaqah. Speaking gentle words to someone in distress, or feeding a meal to someone who is hungry, or making a donation to help an orphan… or donating blood, or working a few hours a month for a charity, or visiting someone who is sick… all those things are valuable. They are not nothing. They are important and worthwhile acts.

Changing the world starts with every person doing one small thing. And in the process, you help your own soul, and you bring happiness to your own heart, and you get the blessings and barakah of Allah. What a deal!

Muslim Woman, Dressed in White

Muslim woman
dressed in white
works so hard
prays at night.

Muslim woman
dressed in black
struggles up
a climbing path.

Muslim woman
dressed in red
sajdah mark
on her head.

Muslim woman
dressed in pink
she’s much stronger
than you think.

Muslim woman
dressed in green
walking banner
of the deen.

Muslim woman
dressed in blue
heart is strong
words are true.

Muslim woman
dressed in brown
in humble prayer
she bows down.

Muslim woman
dressed in grey
when she smiles
lights up the day.

- Wael Abdelgawad, 2010

This is a piece that I just published on Zawaj.com that maybe belongs more on this website, but ma-sha’Allah.

Muslim

What the Word “Muslim” Means to Me

By Wael Abdelgawad for Zawaj.com

The word alone triggers such different reactions in different people.

The literal definition of the word Muslim is “one who submits,” meaning one who submits to Allah, believing in Him and obeying His commandments.

More specifically, the word Muslim is the participle of the same Arabic verb of which Islam is the infinitive. The feminine form is Muslimah, though a female Muslim is often referred to as simply a Muslim.

There are many stereotypes about Muslims in the West, or one might say in the non-Muslim world in general, but I will not go into those in this article.

Instead, I’d like to share my thoughts and feelings on hearing the word Muslim and contemplating its meaning.

Click here to read the rest.

An honest friend is a true friend

By Wael Abdelgawad for IslamicSunrays.com

“O you who believe! be careful of (your duty to) Allah and be with the true ones.” – Quran 9:119

The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said,

“You must be truthful, for truthfulness leads to righteousness and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man will keep speaking the truth and striving to speak the truth until he will be recorded with Allah as a Siddeeq (speaker of the truth). Beware of telling lies, for lying leads to immorality and immorality leads to Hellfire. A man will keep telling lies and striving to tell lies until he is recorded with Allah as a liar.” (Muslim)

Imam Ali Ibn Abi Talib (ra) said: “The truth teller achieves three things: trust, love, and respect.”

You know the expression, “The truth shall set you free?” It might be amended to say, “Telling the truth shall set you free.”

Being honest is liberating. It might be difficult or emotionally uncomfortable at times, but it’s so much more freeing to the spirit than lying, or living a lie. We don’t have to try to remember what lies we told to whom, or whether someone will find out about something from our pasts. We don’t have to feel like hypocrites for speaking words we don’t really mean.

The Body Tells the Truth

Did you know that a liar is betrayed by his own body? We all know about the obvious signs that are monitored by lie detectors, such as increased body temperature (manifested visually as sweating), and raised blood pressure. But there are many other signs that are detectable visually. If you live in the USA you may have seen the drama “Lie to Me”, about a scientist who specializes in body language and facial “micro-expressions” and functions as a human lie detector. This is based on real science.

For example, when people are lying, they generally avoid eye contact. Frequently, liars will gaze downward and to the right. Another sign is that liars often fidget, moving hands or feet, drumming fingers, or adjusting clothing. Also, liars may subconsciously try to “hide” the lie by covering their mouths, or making a motion that is symbolic of covering the face, such as touching the nose or an eye. These are all attempts to cover up the lie, and are a subconscious expression of shame. Lastly, the liar may fold his arms or cross his legs, which are defensive gestures, as if he is trying to cover himself up.

SubhanAllah. Even when a person’s mind is willing to lie, the body is not. It’s as if a part of him is adhering to fitra, the pure nature of every human being, and is unwilling to go along with the sin.

The body is always in a state of submission to Allah, after all. The heart beats as Allah made it to do, the blood flows, the nerves fire, the cells generate energy, carry oxygen or process waste, white blood cells attack invaders… all these autonomous processes go on without conscious thought, obeying the imperatives given to them by Allah. This is an expression of Islam at the most basic level. So even when a person’s tongue may commit a sin by lying, on a deeper level the body is still in submission.

So when we lie, we come into conflict with Allah, with society, and even with our own bodies. How could that be anything but harmful? Isn’t it a sign to us that lying is wrong on a very deep level?

Truth Builds Trust

Wael's daughter Salma at the Fresno Zoo

My daughter Salma is three years old. She goes to bed at 6:30pm, and I remain beside her until she sleeps. On certain evenings I have a martial arts class, and I hope that Salma will fall asleep quickly so I can hurry to my class before it’s over (my mother watches her until I return). Sometimes Salma asks me, “Baba, are you staying home tonight or going to your class?”

I know that if I lie and say, “I’m staying home,” that will comfort her and she’ll fall asleep quickly, allowing me to go to class. On the other hand, if I say, “I’m going to my class,” she’ll deliberately struggle to stay awake, chattering and rolling around in bed, because she does not want me to leave.

So what do I do? I say, “If you fall asleep soon I will go to my class, otherwise I will stay.” I tell her the truth, even it means that I miss my class, because I could not live with myself if I lied to her for selfish reasons, even if it’s a “harmless” lie.

Some days I get to my class, some days I don’t.

I follow this same strategy in every aspect of my relationship with her. If she says, “Baba, can we go to the zoo on Saturday?” I never say, “We’ll see,” just to placate her and change the subject. Someone did that with me in my childhood and I always hated it because I knew that it really meant “no” and was just an obfuscation, a misdirecting lie. So with Salma I might say, “If it’s sunny we can go to the zoo Insha’Allah,” and when the day comes and it’s sunny I will take her to the zoo no matter what, short of an emergency. Or I might say, “Sorry baby, we need to go shopping on Saturday and we won’t have time.”

My point is that I’m always honest with her even when the answer may upset her, and the result is that she trusts me. I see in my interaction with her that she accepts my word and believes me.

I know these are small examples. There’s nothing earth shaking about telling the truth to a little child. But you know, many people do routinely lie to their children for the sake of convenience.

Le’ts be ourselves and be honest. Le’ts take these small examples and do a close self-examination of our interactions with all our family members, our friends, our work colleagues, and our business partners. Do we sometimes lie to simplify matters or to make ourselves look good?

Or do we always tell the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable?

If we were to adopt a policy of truth at all times, what consequences would that have? Really think about it. How would it affect our credibility, our friendships, and our work relationships?

I believe that, contrary to what our fears and insecurities may tell us, being honest in all our relationships would lay a deep and strong foundation and allow those relationships to flourish.

Truth Builds Rock-Solid Friendships

Telling the truth creates strong and healthy friendships, because it builds trust. Real friends don’t just tell you what you want to hear. They don’t say, “Oh yeah, you’re great, that’s wonderful,” when inside they’re thinking, “What a crazy thing to do,” or, “What is he up to now?”

But they’re not cruel or harsh either. They tell you the truth kindly. If they think you’re doing something harmful, they tell you with compassion. When you have a friend like that, you know you can trust every word out of his/her mouth, so when your friend compliments or supports you it means something and lifts you up, because you know it’s from the heart.

Real friends are not saccharine-sweet liars, nor are they relentlessly negative. They see the good in you, they appreciate you and let you know it, but when you need some honest advice they are there with the right words.

And I’ll tell you something: most people respect truth-tellers, even if they don’t agree with what’s being said.

The other key component is that real friends are discreet. They keep your secrets, don’t speak about you to others, don’t repeat rumors. Again, that builds a rock-solid foundation of trust.

I want to be a friend like that, don’t you?