By Wael Abdelgawad for IslamicSunrays.com
“Someone’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.”
– Les Brown, author and motivational speaker.
Don’t blindly accept other people’s negative judgments of you. Reject their pessimism. Be strong, know yourself, and know that no one else can define you. Other people’s insults may hurt, but they don’t define you. Some people love to say “no”, to tell you what you cannot do, to tell you why your dreams are impossible or impractical, to tell you what a fool you are, to tell you not to bother trying. Such people claim to be pragmatists and realists.
In reality, such people are poison. It is their opinions that are not based in reality. It’s their opinions that are founded in cowardice and cynicism. Their opinions are inherently self-limiting. They have locked themselves into prisons of the mind. They have taken the ships of their dreams and smashed holes in the hulls before ever setting sail. Because they have given up on their dreams, they want you to do the same.
Either that, or they look at you and they see a bundle of preconceptions. They see a stereotyped image created in their own minds, someone who to them is the “wrong” race, or the “wrong” religion, or has the “wrong” qualifications, and based on that they will try to tell you what’s “wrong” with you, and to set roadblocks in your path.
Don’t let them define you. Don’t let them tell you who you are, or what you can or cannot do.
Mistakes and Appearances Do Not Define You
You are much more than just the sum of the mistakes you’ve made. Your past mistakes are not brands of shame, but teachers, stimuli to change and do better.
You also cannot be judged by the superficial circumstances of your life: your nationality, race, age, the language you speak, your favorite foods or colors, your birth date, your height or weight, whether your lips are narrow or full, whether your hair is lustrous or thin, whether you have six-pack abs or love handles. These things do not define you.
For you pop culture fans out there, there’s a scene in The Matrix where Neo is riding in a car, gazing out at the city, at all the places he used to know. He says, “I used to eat there. Really good noodles. I have these memories from my life. None of them happened. What does that mean?” And Trinity replies, “That the matrix cannot tell you who you are.”
Free Your Soul
So what truly defines you? Two things: your beliefs, and your character. What you believe, and how those beliefs manifest in the way you act in the world, the way you respect yourself, the way you maintain your integrity no matter what, the compassion and love that you show to those less fortunate, your courage, your talents, your beautiful dreams. Your faith and modesty, sincerity, friendliness, work ethic, hospitality, willingness to forgive.
These are the things that truly define a human being. No one can dictate them to you, no one can give them or take them away. Only Allah can guide you, and only you can choose what to do with that guidance.
Abu Malik Al-Harith bin Asim Al-Ashari said that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:
“Purity is half of faith. Alhamdu-lillah [Praise be to Allah] fills the scales, and Subhana-Allah [How far is Allah from every imperfection] and Alhamdu-lillah [Praise be to Allah] fill that which is between heaven and earth. Prayer is light; charity is a proof; patience is illumination; and the Quran is an argument for or against you. Everyone starts his day and is a vendor of his soul, either freeing it or bringing about its ruin.”
You are the vendor of your own soul. You set your soul free, so that your spirit rises like the sun; or you ruin it, debasing yourself. You shape your own character. You define yourself. No one else can tell you who you are. No one else has the right.